Bangkok, Thailand- Kubler Ross Doesn't Live Here Anymore

There is a saying: If you don't like or understand someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you're a mile away from them, and you've got their shoes.

Which is my way of saying that the best way to understand any place you travel to is to imitate as closely as possible what the locals do. Eat where they eat, shop where they shop, and try to imitate them if you can. You can get a good sense of Thailand by seeing the countryside, sure, but it would be a drag, a bore, and really such a pity, if you visited the country while not looking at the city.
My apologies to murray head.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should state right up front that I visited Bangkok a lot.
And I liked Bangkok... for about 2 days.
I was always there longer than 2 days.
What helped me out were two things: revisiting my ethical standards and taking the city in stages.

DENIAL
Bangkok is a bit much to take at first, so you just might find yourself face-to-face with the surreal.

"Did I just see an elephant next to the freeway?"
"Was that a sign for an insect museum?"
"Did that lady have an adam's apple?"

You did.
It was.
Yep, she did. Or rather, he did.

See what I mean? Denial is not only the first sign, it's also a defense mechanism, and necessary to visiting a place such as Bangkok. There's simply too much to take in at one time. There's a huge night bazaar. They drink tea with condensed milk. There's a street devoted solely to all things gay. There's a district devoted to prostitution.
It can be a pretty daunting place to visit.

This isn't to say there aren't places to visit Bangkok that don't involve feeling overwhelming sadness followed immediately by nausea. You can have a family-friendly visit, but for best results, plan your route from the hotel to the Baskin Robbins.

While denial helps for awhile, it is only for awhile. You'll probably be dipping into another emotional reservoir. Which brings us to the next stage.

ANGER
Try to see examples of child prostitution and not get angry about it. I remember one time I got on the hotel elevator, only to be joined by a girl no older than 11 or 12, followed swiftly by her client. I was furious, but frustratingly so, because while prostitution is illegal, and child prostitution is super illegal, the enforcement of the law is another matter. Thais simply don't want to lose their permissiveness nature (some of it as a result of Buddhism), and they definitely don't want to lose the money generated by tourism.

Which brings us back to situations such as the elevator, where you can find yourself, without any warning at all, face-to-face to evil being practiced.
Hence the anger.

This frustration can bubble up in strange places, and I'll include an example from my experiences.
Some of the restaurants have 2 sizes for tea, but 3 sizes for soda.
A large tea is a medium soda.
But it's in the medium cup.
But it's a large cup if it has tea in it.
But if you ask for a large soda, and substitute it with tea, that isn't even remotely possible, because you are defying physics, which brings out frustration.

And really, the frustration isn't about tea, or soda, or cups, or the Einsteinian conversation you had at the KFC. It's not about being offered a price on cotton pants in the night bizarre only to return an hour later and have that same price denied.
It's really about dreading getting on an elevator back at your hotel.

All that anger/frustration, can't stay in forever. It will get out. I recommend venting it somehow in a healthy way, but some of it is bound to mutate into...

BARGAINING
"So here's the deal... I'll stay in Bangkok, only visit places that are well-lit and familiar. I'll keep the buddy system alive and well. I'll set an itinerary and stick to it, with scheduled breaks for sweet tea at the Seven-Eleven."

You, my friend, are bargaining, setting a deal with Bangkok. It's much like my deal with snow skiing. I promise not to attach skis to my feet and get on a slope. It resolves not to send me hurling to my death with a girlish scream.

In this case, it's: "I promise not to stray outside the parameters of what I can reasonably deem as safe, and you, Bangkok, promise not to arrange things so that I end up in a drunken stupor in a Thai kickboxing ring."
The problem is, Bangkok doesn't have a parameter. It doesn't reasonably deem safety. That is the basis of it's appeal. I don't like to admit it, but there is a brief appeal. I mean, an ice cream shop next to a Pizza Hut next to a western movie theater? What's not to like?

But as I hope I've adequately explained, Bangkok doesn't have limits. Or if they do, it's way out there. So it lends itself to bargaining, which doesn't really work because Bangkok violates the deal.

And that is why after bargaining you get...

DEPRESSION
Which is why I found myself checking for when my plane was scheduled to leave.
Perhaps I hoped for an earth-shattering announcement that the flight was leaving a day early. Really, though, I was ready to go somewhere else. I found myself seeing the same movie again in the theater, revisiting places that I had been the most okay with, checking email a lot, and watching CNN in the hotel room.
You get the idea.

This is where venting comes in, and I attended a Baptist Church, if only as my way of saying, "Thanks for being 1000 square feet of clean living.".

Even depression has it's limits. You can't go to Swensen's everyday. Eventually, depression gives way to

ACCEPTANCE
Face it. The plane isn't leaving a day early. You're not getting a large tea like the soda drinkers blissfully enjoy. You won't be able to wipe out corruption and prostitution on this visit. Regardless of the raw deal you get, you are NEVER EVER gonna look good in cotton pants.

This is Bangkok. It is what it is. You know the devil has to own a timeshare here somewhere but you're not in the least bit curious enough to check.
And you'll always remember with a tear in your eye how that restaurant let you in on a whole new dimension of tea-drinking, and how all it took was a little bit of evaporated milk.

Am I glad I visited? Within the 2 days, sure. After that... well.

Regardless, each visit gave me:
1)new things to forget,
2)new things to pray for,
and 3)a new, already broken-in pair of shoes.